I had no intention of blogging tonight but it’s close to 5:00 am and I’m still wide awake so here I am. It’s still Sunday to me even though I know some people are waking for work. Yes, I remember Mondays well. Days seem to blend together now. I know days by Dr. visits and I know when it’s getting close to Saturdays with my Mom. I have time with Amanda and Brayden tomorrow. I will get to see Brayden’s recently discovered ability to crawl, and Amanda is treating me to a mani-pedi. I’m pampered.
Saturday was crazy fun with Mom and Julie. We hit up Marshalls and Old Navy. Yes I did get some new shoes for my newly freed feet along with some clothes to fit my ever expanding body. My stomach is huge, especially on the right side. Now I know there are different body types. Everybody knows the apple and pair shape. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve gained all over but in an odd way that 40 has nothing to do with. My stomach is fatter on the right side, my left boob appears larger than the right and my useless right leg is much smaller than my left. there are other oddities going on with my body shape too.
Let me explain these. ALS has decided to play around with my right side much more than my left. I have lost abdominal muscle and you’d be surprised how much fat and organs a little abdominal muscles can hold in place without effort. Mine are very weak so everything protrudes out, they’re weaker on my right side so it protrudes out more. My left boob seems larger because the chest muscles on my right side have atrophied, so with my bra on and breasts moved up in the right position (that does have to do with 40) they become like two different sizes when they’re not. My right leg is just atrophied all over so it’s quite a bit smaller than my left which is still holding muscle and fat.
Back to Saturday, I wasn’t about to go try on anything that had to be pulled up my legs, so I just tried on tops where I found them. It was an unusual scene. I loved every second of it. We had fun, finishing the day off at Steak n Shake. I had a peanut butter and banana milk shake and some of Julie’s soft chili cheese fries. At home I could have gotten them down better but it would have been a site. I have my ways of getting things down that I just can’t do in public.
None of this mattered to me Saturday. We laughed getting me in the car. We used a transfer board a couple time and I went for it a couple times withe my left side strength. One time I was making it and Julie came in toward me from the driver’s side. I saw it coming, she was reaching out for my left arm to help me along, I said “This is my good arm.” It didn’t register so when she pulled the arm I went straight down on the seat. My right arm can’t hold my weight. Mom was still helping with my lower half so with some twisting and contorting I made it in the seat. It was one of the better laughs of the day. I have several but I’ll stop there. I treasure the days that come together by me having the energy and others the time to spend. Too often I feel too weak, major fatigue or back pain going on to have a day like that.
I did get a little done on the site today. That’s an ever evolving slow process, especially if I intend to put my efforts in the blog. The blog takes more than I ever imagined.
I’m glad I shared this happiness because I plan on going for some tough topics this week or sometime really soon unless something pressing comes up I want to share.
If my grammar mistakes bother you, just get over it. I’m not a professional writer and I mentioned this was a concern of mine from the beginning but I’m getting over it. I’ve seen much worse. If you’re have trouble following, it’s more than likely a comprehension or ego problem on your end than my writing skills, OK?
Until next time, take care,
This article was written by April